So I am now a addict of the site after being a member for a week. Besides the updates from what I like to think of as my day to day friends, I think the thing that makes me the most happy is hearing how folk I have loved in my wacky history are doing. The little comments on the day prove they are still hysterical, the articles postings show they are still passionate verging on obsessed about the things they care about.The fact that they join groups like MST 3000 show they are still geeks. Oh I love my peeps!
My theory is that when you become active in your history, your history shows up. In the most peculiar ways. Last night I went to this Irish bar with a pal to check out a fiddler she has been emailing via Match.com. Sort of single women's tag team. So we go this pit in a basement in midtown ,listening to a cover band of rapidly aging hip daddy's playing Dr John numbers .Oh the glamour of NYC living! And then I spot Ray.
I knew him from my acting days.Had not seen him in about a decade. One of those ,OH MY GOD ,HOW ARE YOU?, moments in life. He looked exactly the same. Still the same generous spirit. Turn around and he is bringing me drinks, wanting to know about my life and work.Standing there thinking, what a dear dear man. Didn't I have a crush on him once?Yes I did?
When I was about 24 I was totally Jonesing on good old Ray for about a month or 2. It was so easy to crush on people back then. Between hormones and the bulk of choices,I was blissing on boys in a fairly constant level. He was decent, he was charming, he was not the total vacant lot pretty boys that I kept meeting at auditions. But I knew something was not going to happen there for him instinctively and I think that lack of fulfillment of future dreams turned me off.
So here he was ,still hanging out supporting his friends mediocer gigs, working as a tour guide for a company that is known to be the sleaziest in town, doing stand up gigs -not getting paid, dating a cute adoring girl that was at least 15 years younger than him. Even his flyer for his upcoming gig depressed me. He is exactly the same place I left him at.
But Ray is clearly happy. He loves what he is doing, he was bouncing around to the Dire Straits tribute he pals were laying down. He was cuddling his adorable gal,offering everybody his snacks he had brought along. Should I be so supior about what I have done with my life? Am I as happy as Ray ? Maybe,today, but I think he may win the over all contest.
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