I was watching Christane Northrup on the PBS special that they always seem to show at pledge time. But now that is always seems to be a constant state of pledge time, how is one to know the difference? But I digress. Northrup is a doctor for all things women parts and is wise, kind and seems to have an handle on aging being a positive thing. She quotes my first coaching teacher throughout the show. And even though I have some left over baggage about that particular woman ( like her claim that mental illness, drug addiction, homosexuality are all choices that a person makes to keep life interesting....) ,Northrup has a way of editing out the crazy stuff and recalling the mind blowing -life change goodies.
She talked about the capacity to receive, in particular pleasure. Most women of a certain age and younger suck at this. We are motivated towards self creation, discipline, good work ethic. We give tons. We do not get this receive thing at all. And if one does not know how to receive , one will attract those who do not know how to give. ( Insert appropriate sound affect of recognition. )
I would like to declare that I am sick of being broke while being responsible. I am sick of things in my home breaking and my being scared about how I am going to fix said things. I am good at what I do,damn good. I deserve to have a level of abundance. But even writing this makes my stomach twitch. I am a do-gooder wasp. While I am a capitalist, I am a thrift store one. There is all this baggage about asking for more from the Gods. Or even those who know me. I am considering doing a very simple mailing to those who know me to push for additional clients, and it makes me so scared. Not about succeeding, but how I will come off. Abrasive, aggressive,unfeminine, self involved.
Oh they raised me right those kin of mine!
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