A few days ago a she named A called me sounding very stressed asking for help. Someone with mututaly know in a social circle just called her threatening suicide then hung up. She wanted to know what was moraly obligated to do.
The person who claimed they were going to jump from the George Washington bridge, 1. is about twice her age, 2. has been given numerous phone numbers of low cost doctors and therapists from a varity of people all ready and refuses to work with any of them, 4. has been diagnost with a mental condition and refuses to get medicated for it, and 5. threatened to off themself this summer when it was clear all they wanted was attention.And finally, and possibly most importantly, 6. is someone that this circle doesn't consider to be a real friend, just a rather sad unhappy soul that they have taken on out of pity and sympathy rather than deep care. Sort of like an needy ugly but friendly dog begging for scraps in your neighborhood but you don't want to take home.
I offered some advice but the strongest one I gave was about creating boundries. That in what I have seen of this person, they will take and take till they push the other person away from drainage. That this group is not able to save him, he needs to do it himself. She said I was the only person she talked to do that brought that up. I am wondering if I am harsh or cruel. Last night I was in an bar and totaly randomly ended up sitting next to the would be jumper( of course he didn't intend to do it.....) and I was probally pretty rude. I talked to him as minimaly as I possible could. I refused to ingage in anything that would bring me into his reality. My iroon curtain was up.
In Quakerism they use the discription to see the Light within others. To me this is about trying consititantly to acknoweldge teh humanity in others, even when its hard or umpopular.So we have this impressive human rights history, unground railroad,suffergetes, my meeting was the first organised religious community that held a gay wedding in the state on NY.But when that is your values, you also bring in the crazys. So in worship today, one unstable person after another gave messages. All with that self involved, my suffering should realy interest you ,untreated bi-polar way. Its bad when your weekly time talking to God invloves you wanting others to shut the hell up.But I watch others who seem to be almost saintly with these people, patient,and kind, and willing to engage.I feel like a bitch on a stick.
Twice a week I work a job were I regurally talk to mentaly ill people looking for legal help, with things that may or may not have to do with their condition. It's gotten so half the time I can just listen to their recordings on Voicemail and can tell how off they are. I help them as much as I can but I cut their storys short.I get the miminal imformation I need to get them to the next place, then move them out the door. I wonder if there are others in my life who would be more tender.
So I am thinking today about how much is enough. I get pissed at Republican apathy, they should pull them selves up by their boot straps , crap. But I was so pissed when my conversationw with a freind on the subway today was interupted by crazy jesus woman looking for cash and followers of her cause. If I was a good Christian would I have given her 5 bucks, talked to her, given her an 800 number of a group that might get her lythium? or is it ok to take care of my self before I put my attention on others?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment